Taking back the house

(We noticed you had put our toys in here. Don't worry,
we fixed that.)

(This was originally published on Feb. 29, 2012)

The first few months are rough. We've been over this. Especially with multiples. You don't sleep, you free time has evaporated, your chores have quadrupled (I don't care how many kids you have) and you're operating under a cloud of chaos. Laundry piles up, dishes pile up, when did you vacuum last?

Then suddenly, you turn a corner. More sleep is happening all around. And the combination of sleep deprivation training and actually getting more sleep helps clarify your situation. You don't have to operate in panic mode. At least not all the time.

We came to this realization a couple weeks ago. We were looking around at some of the clutter in our house, and as if he was reading my mind, my husband said: “I'm planning on taking care of some of this. A little each day.”

And that was that. We both began to tackle small chores, and cram them back into our daily routine. Easy stuff like dishes and laundry first, but adding on extra bits – reclamation of the parts of the living room, clearing off baby stuff from one of our easy chairs, breaking down the bazillion cardboard boxes that we've accumulated from various infant accoutrements (diapers, wipes, toys, furniture).

But let's be clear - we don't clean rooms. We clean fractions of rooms. We do what we can when we can do it. But it's been working. Taking 10 minutes to clean off the easy chair one day, 20 minutes to rediscover the top of my bureau - and looking at a project in small pieces is far easier than attempting to tackle an entire room, especially when you have to stop to cuddle, change or play with babies.

It's fun looking around the house for the ever shrinking list of projects, all the while trying to balance the constant flow of regular chores.

A few things we've done seem staggeringly obvious in hindsight – but when you're a sleep deprived zombie juggling bouncing babies, “obvious” becomes meaningless.

-Do the chores where the babies are.

If your kids are downstairs and your laundry is upstairs, bring it down to the living room and fold it. Duh? Yeah, it took me a few months to master that little gem. All because in my previous life, I had folded my laundry upstairs.

-Don't kill yourself.

It's easy to look at a mess and get overwhelmed, especially when you're dealing with extra chores that stem from baby care. And if you overwork your already-tired self, you're going to be disinclined to continue with the routine. So keep it simple. Break rooms down into manageable parts (e.g. organize the coffee table one day; clear out a cluttered corner the next).

And as you start taking back your house, you'll feel better about life. It's like getting dressed. When you look better, you feel better, and you are better. Same applies with your living room.

And to be clear, my house is never going to be “clean” - at least not in the Martha Stuart sense of the word. There will be toys on the floor (I just located a squishy fabric ball under my feet), and mail on the table. But it will be a controlled chaos. Or at least less chaotic chaos. Works for me.

(P.S. 2016 reality check: You will win and lose this battle with your house. It's okay. You are not alone. You can do it.)