Five by Five by Five

By Katy England

I’ve always had a problem with math. I don’t know if it’s anxiety or what, but typically I end up panicking and counting out totals on my fingers, or writing it out and carrying lots of ones. I figure this has to be my problem when it comes to the fact that my kids turn five today. It must be my bad math, because yesterday they were babies. Which means tomorrow they will be 10, and the day after that they will all be married and living as millionaires on the Island of Sodor, running that damn place better than Toppham Hatt ever could. Or something.

Five years, gone in the blink of an eye. Tempus fugit and all that, but I can’t get over how fast it has gone. It’s weird, because even when they were very little (and how very little they were) they had personalities. But now it’s different. Now they are making jokes, talking not just to me and Dad, but to each other. They play together now, not just in the same room, but together. And most of the time, they enjoy it. 

Sometimes they will hug each other, and tell me or dad or each other how they love us. Which has to be the best thing ever. They will tell jokes that make no sense, but are just as funny. Like this one:

Ellie: Paul, tella joke to us.

Paul: What rhymes with jaguar? It's jelly!

(uproarious laughter)

Ellie: Tell another one.

I have vague recollections of that whirlwind first year. People ask me how I did it – I have no idea. But that’s only half true. I made it because of the people who helped. My parents and my husband’s parents who came over to lend a hand – and somehow ignore my insanity. My Aunt Linda who gifted us with things that I can’t imagine life without – our generator, helped us buy a new vehicle when we were t-boned. My friend Marion who ninja-dropped food for us for the entire first year.

People who forgave my sleep-deprived, scattered insanity and helped me do dishes. People who let me reschedule missed appointments without a word. My friends who ignored my chaotic state of my house and still came over to play games or watch movies – you helped me to. The people who let me carry on about my kids, showing pictures at inopportune moments (K9 training springs to mind), and they let me talk well past normal politeness. Because the kids was the thing I became an expert in – it certainly wasn’t topical pop-culture, politics or current events. 

The only current events I know about are about five years old. And though I’m aware of the political climate, I don’t have the energy to engage in those discussions – which has actually been really nice, and I highly suggest everyone do the same. You will feel much better, I promise. 

Thank you. All of you. We couldn’t have done this without you.

The kids keep growing, and learning, and signing and destroying my nice things, and creating other nice things. And the things they say – the stories they help create. It’s amazing to me.

I know I’ve been lax in my blogging, partly because I was sick, partly because I had a new job and partly because I’ve just been living it. Riding the crazy wave.

Here’s to tomorrow and the next day. Here’s to them graduating college and driving rockets to the moon before I know it. Here’s to a different feeling of time, the kind that flies and takes me with it.